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‘American Idol’: Pick the next judge
‘American Idol’ judges are in constant flux. Which rock or pop antiquity will be next? Could it be a crooning Lionel Richie or a tongue-wagging Gene Simmons? You tell us.
Celine Dion
Cher
David Lee Roth
Elton John
Gene Simmons
George Clinton
Kris Kristofferson
Lionel Richie
Lou Reed
Mick Jagger
Ozzy Osbourne
Tina Turner
Who would you chose? Vote here
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Why? Established diva who’s not afraid to speak her mind.
Why not? French-Canadian accent might need subtitles. Could outpace JLo on costume changes. |
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Why? She can out-diva JLo, Paula and Celine, combined.
Why not? She can out-diva JLo, Paula and Celine, combined. |
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Why? Because “Idol” is better with a little crazy. Roth can scissor kick and has never been shy about ripping his own bandmates in public.
Why not? He says things like this: “We’ve managed to stretch our adolescence like a Chiclet to the moon.” Yes, the gum. |
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Why? Already rumored as a judge when Simon left; would reconnect show with its British roots.
Why not? May be too busy between “Million Dollar Piano” performances and near-constant demand for “Candle in the Wind” eulogies. |
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Why? Expert on performing in heels and turning bum notes into gold.
Why not? Scary without makeup and do we really need to see more of The Tongue? |
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Why? Funk god. Master showman. Freak extraordinaire.
Why not? Will make Randy Jackson appear 10 times more boring than he already does. |
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Why? Wrote some of the greatest songs in history; slept with Janis Joplin.
Why not? Co-starred with Barbra Streisand. |
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Why? “Hello” a landmark in swoony balladry made for lovesick teens; recent Home Shopping Network stint proves he knows marketing.
Why not? Entire generation unsure of who he is; inevitable outbreaks of “Dancing on the Ceiling” difficult to insure. |
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Why? He Hates Everything!
Why not? Recorded “Metal Machine Music,” 63 minutes of pure guitar noise. Never apologized. |
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Why? Prototype rock frontman should end Idol’s recent reign of bland guys with guitars; recent “SNL” appearance proves he’s still got it.
Why not? If he’s still got it, why would he waste it here? |
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Why?The censors will have no one to bleep once Steven’s gone.
Why not? Censors need vacations too and he would have to be subtitled. |
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Why? For 11 seasons “Idol” watchers have had to sit through dreadful Tina Turner cover after dreadful Tina Turner cover, only to have Randy Jackson remind viewers that no one can compare to Tina Turner. Put Turner in the judging chair, and contestants will likely be scared away from her catalog.
Why not? Could cause the exact opposite reaction, subjecting us to country and/or rock covers of “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” |
